by D.C. Dulik
I regret, and know I will pay,
when I ask, how are you today?
I‘m doing great, let me fill you in.
Don‘t you think that I look really thin?
I‘m going to a luncheon date,
I‘m already a half hour late.
I‘m going on vacation to Napa Valley.
Jim is building me a pergola in the alley.
I do wish he and the kids could go,
but it‘s so expensive you know.
After lunch it‘s a bikini wax
Then pick up six pairs of slacks at Saks
After that it‘s Chico‘s for three new skirts,
then to Walmart to get the kids some shirts.
At 3:00, it‘s my anal bleaching.
At 4:15, a self-awareness class that Joyce is teaching.
Home at 6:00, dinner to microwave,
To cooking I‘m not a slave.
At 7:00 it‘s Cole Hahn
to try six new pairs of shoes on.
Then to Victoria‘s Secret for thongs and bras.
You can‘t have shabby undies at the spas.
Finally home I‘ll flop in bed,
Jim will be busy making me fresh breakfast bread.
We‘ve decided not to have sex anymore
I told Jim it‘s just such a chore.
Next time I see you, I‘ll have a new car.
Please remind me to ask how you are.
New Millennium Writings
Issue 20 (2011)
"The Narcissist" © 2011 D.C. Dulik